The Mind of Miss Meehan

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:07:51 GMT

Borrowed from supercaptain182:

Step One
Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals, or holiday_wishes) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

My List:

Lose 10lbs before the year's end
A Jason Hawes/Grant Wilson sexy icon of my very own
A happily ever after Clionel fic
Any used Hard Yaoi Mangas in English (I'll pay for the postage)
A happily ever after Kyle/Shawn fic
A sexy Kyle/Shawn icon
Understand and learn how to make my own icons
Help in finishing some of my stories
A sexy Lucas/Nathan icon
A smutty Lucas/Nathan fic

I'm Sure I Am The Only One Just Reading This But...

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 00:03:39 GMT

After reading Larry Nivens "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" I am feeling less annoyed by the Clana sex in "Wrath." Still sticking with Lex (or Jason, Oliver, Whitney) getting the jolt of super power they needed to do the deed. The article also sort of justifies Mpreg for our Alien Farm Boy.

On a completely different note, as of today I am officially obsessed with Ghost Hunters RPS.

Because Two Are Better Than One

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:27:54 GMT

Jensen Meet Jensen
Two Jensen's, two supernatural shows. Feels like a plot bunny to me. Don't mind me, this always happens after a new episode of Dante's Cove.

Like A Moth to A Flame

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:44:25 GMT

Yay!!! A new season of Dante's Cove has begun. I once toyed with writing slash fiction for it but then I realized, Dante's Cove is slash fiction on the small screen. Tollin/Robbins...take notes.

The Drowsy Chaperone

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:06:49 GMT

Found this on You Tube. It's the MB singing and dancing. God, I love this man.

Question for those with the SPN Season2 DVD

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 23:17:38 GMT

A friend of mine just got their DVD. They say the special features are missing (Jared screen test, gag reel etc). Did anyone else fine features missing. Which disc are the bonus features on? I haven't gotten my copy yet.

I don't think he gets it

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:04:25 GMT

I copied this interview (these three questions in particular) from TV Guide online. Read how pleas for no more Clana are ignored.

I heard Clark and Lana will reconcile, yet the audience knows that Clark and Lana will not end up together. Why invest so much time and energy rehashing their relationship this late in the series? — caitiedid
Gough: You also know that Lex will become evil, that Clark becomes Superman, and that the two will be mortal enemies, yet you've been watching for seven seasons! The fact is, Clark loves Lana, and that is one of the central relationships of the show. She is that crucial first relationship that helps define him and his future relationships with women. The fact that he screws it up so badly, no matter how hard he tries, is one of the reasons he ends up with Lois. Remember, my young Padawan, our story is the journey, not the conclusion.

The character of Clark seems to have become increasingly marginalized over the last couple of seasons. When are you going to tell Clark's story of his journey toward becoming Superman? And why does the journey have so much pining for Lana in it? — Gigi_F
Gough: See answer above and below.

We've heard a lot about character arcs for Kara, Lois and Lex. I was wondering whether there was a specific arc for Clark, one independent of Lana's return, considering he is the central character. Right now he seems to be reacting a lot to other characters; it would be nice to see him take the initiative and to see Clark specifically being pushed forward for a change. — extrasolar
Gough: Clark's journey this season revolves around his struggle between his Kryptonian heritage and his earthly upbringing, and dealing with his cousin — which ain't easy! Kara will give him an insight into his family (which is seriously screwed up) and his birth planet (which went boom, so there was something seriously screwed up there as well). He will grapple with his past and his future. And now that Lana is back, will he finally realize that this relationship, no matter how hard he tries, is ultimately doomed? Stay tuned

The Evidence Doesn't Lie

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:35:12 GMT

This entry is a strange rambling based on something I observed while watching LOSVU. So I was re-watching the episode "Florida" last night and amidst the usual Olivia angst and her getting called a bull dike (or is it dyke) by a perp, a small gem stood out that nearly made me squeal and it went something like this:

Sexy Forensics Tech Ryan O'Halloran
meets with Olivia at night to process some bit of forensic evidence she's acquired and complains, about why she couldn't call him on one of the 364 nights he didn't have a date. He's dressed in a tacky suit and obviously frustrated about having his date interrupted. Are you with me so far? Good. The next day, hunky Elliot Stabler
dressed more casual than is normal for his character, tracks Olivia down. When she asks Elliot how he knew where she was going to be, Elliot replies the O'Halloran told him about their late night meeting. This could only mean one thing; Elliot was Ryan O'Halloran's date and between that night and the following morning, the two spoke. Well it makes sense to me.

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 19:10:23 GMT

Stolen from svgurl OTP MEME

List the first five OTPs that come into your head, but preferably from different fandoms.

Lucas/Nathan - One Tree Hill

Sam/Dean - Supernatural

Shawn/Kyle - the 4400

Stabler/Huang - LOSVU

Lionel/Lex - Smallville

1. When did you first fall in love with ship number 1?
When rerickson ~~forced me~~ requested that I write a fic for this pairing

2. When did you fall in love with ship number 5?
After reading Thine Line by xoverau. Until then, I'd never even given the pairing much thought

3.What is your favorite moment of ship number 3?
Their first scene in the pilot episode. Two young teens, sitting alone in the woods/beach/wherever, getting drunk together could only lead to one thing. Why oh why did the future have to come and interrupt that.

4. What will the ship be if you take the boy from ship 2 and the girl from ship 1 and mesh them? If one or both of the ships are slash, then pick and choose.
That'll be Sam/Lucas which works because I think Dean/Tristan would have made a mighty fine couple anyway.

5. Vise versa.
Dean Winchester and Nathan Scott? Hmm, I'm not sure about that.

6. What's your favorite moment for ship 4?
I guess the whole "Strangle me?" scene which is also the name of the livejournal stabler/huang group. Elliot towering over Huang was just too yummy

7. How long was there between the time you got into the fandom and the time you started shipping ship number 3?
A little while. I was into Shawn/Jordan and Tom/Kyle at first.

8. When did you start shipping ship number 4?
I think after the episode "Execution." That eppy featured them together and the fact that they couldn't get along made me think 'sexual tension.'

9. Take three random people from three of the ships and create an OT3?
Nathan/Dean/Kyle. Wow, all three have some daddy issues.

10. Rank your OTPs in order.
3,2,1,4,5.

Honorary ships that didn't quite make the five:

Tom/Kyle (4400), Skills/Lucas(OTH), Warrick/Greg (CSI), Stabler/O'halloran (LOSVU), John/Dean (SPN), Jack/Eric(BMW)

You are What You Love

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 21:36:42 GMT

I am officially in love with Aaron Ashmore (and maybe his brother too). Just watched Prom Queen and he was so adorable in it. The guy who played his boyfriend was hot too.

Favorite Five

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:18:15 GMT

This is borrowed from svgurl who saw it somewhere else. My five are a lot older because...I guess I am a lot older. I guess I have a thing for Dads (the good, the bad and the sexy). Anyway, here's the meme and here are my answers.

1. List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
2. Put all of them in order of your lust for them (1-5, 1 is the hottest).
3. Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
4. Supply photos for said people.

1. Joel Gretsch - Blue eyes, blond hair, killer body. 'nuff said. First saw him on the 4400 and I keep watching because of him.

2. Mahershalahashbaz Ali - His name may be hard on the tongue but his looks are easy on the eyes. Smooth chocolate skin, a body to die for and a quiet confidence that oozes sex appeal. First saw him on the 4400. He's just another reason I keep watching.

3. Jeffrey Dean Morgan - Are you sensing a daddy theme here? His soulful eyes, messy brown hair, five o'clock shadow and dreamy drawl of a voice hooked me instantly. I first saw him on Supernatural and he actually made me forget about Sam and Dean.

4. Paul Johansson - Move over Lionel Luthor. His portrayal of Dan Scott on One Tree Hill makes him the reigning king of bad dads. He's built like a brick house and he brings a bit of humanity to his over the top character.

5. John Glover - Season two and three of Smallville made me fall in love with this man. He will always be the MB. He's sexy, has a great bod ( see Slumber if you doubt it) and he's a great actor. I absolutely adore him. I first saw him in Brimstone but really didn't appreciate him until Smallville. After, I secured copies of Brimstone on VCD and revelled in the magnificence of the man.

These are my fab five. Who are yours?

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 19:45:39 GMT

Less than 5 1/2 hours until Eric Johnson as Flash Gordon. Please god, don't let the show be sucky.

More Mike Madness

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 01:18:36 GMT

I always seem to fall for the obscure ones.

http://www.squidoo.com/mikedoyle/

Just another hot guy to add to the pile

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 11:49:55 GMT

So my latest obsession is actor Mike Doyle (CSI Ryan O'Halloran on Law and Order SVU). Heart of Darkness and I have put together a fanpage (okay HOD put together the fan page, I am lending moral support). Anywho, this is the link incase anyone is interested. I will add it to my page links as well http://mikedoylefan.blogspot.com/

New Fic: The Woman Within

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 12:55:49 GMT

Title: The Woman Within
Fandom: The 4400
Pairing: Shawn/Kyle, Shawn/Jordan, Kyle/Jordan Kyle/other
Rating: M
Warnings: Slash, incest, mpreg, mention of non-con

Three months, no ability and no Shawn. Just some crazy girl named Cassie following me around and making odd suggestions. Well, at least one of them worked. Shawn's awake. Seems like whatever the future holds for us, we're destined to be apart. First my coma and NTAC lock down, then Shawn's involvement with the center and maybe even Collier himself, not to mention my prison stay.

So much had changed when I woke up, when Shawn woke me up. That night on the beach held so many promises for us. We'd both been dancing around feelings that were beginning to grow and bubble to the surface, and as if to punish us for our thoughts and prevent our deeds, the future stepped in and separated us.

I should have gone to him when I had the chance but I was in so much trouble and so confused and loved him so much. I couldn't drag him into all of this. I killed his lover, even though it wasn't me. Everyday I regret not taking him up on his offer, turning down the chance to be with him. Twice he unlocked my mind. Once from the darkness the future threw me into and once from the grip of a will that was not my own.

As I stood there, hands sweating, giving him the shot and praying that fifty-fifty didn't apply to him, that he was somehow different, I also prayed that now we could finally be together. When he woke up and his mom and teams of doctors rushed into the room, I was so happy I hugged and kissed him right there in front of everyone. Nobody said anything. His mom knew we were close, so I suppose to her it looked like something akin to brotherly affection. His own brother wasn't even there.

Danny and Shawn have had the typical sibling rivalry in the past but since Shawn's abduction and return it's been magnified. That day of our secret tryst, the day I realized I'd lost him forever, he didn't want to talk about Danny or Nikki. He sure as hell didn't want to talk about us. It was as if that night on the beach never happened. We joked, we kidded, we argued about Jordan and I didn't see him again until Jordan was dead and I was running from serious trouble.

I guess I took the shot hoping to get closer to him. At least that's part of the reason. The other part was Jordan. He forgave me, told me I played a vital role in the future's plans. He even said something that gave me hope for Shawn and I, only now that Shawn's awake, it seems highly unlikely or at least it did until I went by his house to visit him.

Everyone was out and he was worried about Danny wanting to try Promicin. It almost turned into an argument but while I was on my pedestal, proclaiming the good news about Collier, he kissed me. If he did it to shut me up, it worked. I kissed him back. He was still weak but that didn't seem to stop him. We made love right there in his mother's living room. I could tell he was experienced. I assumed Collier taught him a lot. He never questioned me about my own experiences. I'd been in prison, perhaps he didn't care to.

I'm seeing her more frequently now; that girl Cassie, that helped me wake up Shawn. Last night she was in my bedroom, only my dad couldn't see her. She told me about visions, she told me she was my ability. She told me we'd meet real soon, even though we'd already met. I would have told myself I was crazy but I wanted to believe everything she said about me and Shawn playing for the same team. That sounds dirty I know, but outside of our lovemaking, we're still at odds when it comes to Jordan.

It's been three weeks since Shawn and I reconnected. He's beginning to confide in me again. We went to the beach, our beach. We managed to dodge reporters who still hound him. I avoided talking about Jordan. Instead, we talked about him and his decision to publicly heal again. I'm a little worried for him but glad he's going to use his abilities for good. That's why these powers were given to us, well at least to him. He asks me about my own, if there are any new developments. I lie and say no. What can I say to him that won't make me sound crazy or get some good natured ribbing from him. He always had this thing about me hitting like a girl or running like a girl. If I tell him my ability is named Cassie and has auburn hair, he'll have a field day with it.

He's on top of me, inside of me. I don't want this to end. I let my eyes slip closed for just a minute and pretend we're in a world without Promicin and 4400's. There's nothing complicated about us other than being cousins and facing angry parents. It all seems like mild stuff compared to what's really going on. The world is changing and pulling us along for the ride.

“Hey,” he says, still moving inside of me.

I smile and say, “Hey yourself.”

“I love you, you know that right?”

He has that intense look on his face, the one I find so sexy. I nod and pull him closer. When he pours himself inside of me, I feel warm and safe. He's watching me again so I stroke the worry etched across his brow, smile and pull him in for another kiss. We clean up as best we can and I drop him home. By supper time I've lost my appetite and in the middle of the night, I barely make it to the bathroom before losing what little I ate for the day.

My dad must have heard me because he's in the doorway asking me if I'm all right. I nod yes in spite of feeling the exact opposite. He immediately suggests I see a doctor which of course I can't. If I test promicin positive, I'll go back to jail; something I just can't do. I flush the toilet, rinse my mouth and joke about letting Shawn fix me lunch.

“Obviously an unwise choice,” I smile weakly, rubbing my still upset stomach. But he smiles and nods, so I think he's buying it.

“Some mint tea?” He asks.

I say yes just to get my father's worried eyes off of me. As soon as he's down the steps, I hurl again. I'm beginning to worry that maybe I am having a delayed reaction to promicin. Maybe my luck has run out and the drug is running it's course. I'm scared. I want to see Shawn. I want him to make it better.

Website Creation for Dummies

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 11:56:05 GMT

Me and a few others (or a few others and I) want to create a website dedicated to Lucas/Nathan slash much in the way that the SDSA is dedicated to Sam/Dean slash. There is just one problem, None of us are technically savvy enough to pull it off. I know about efiction, have downloaded it and scratched my head wondering what it all means. My question(s) is(are):

a) How do you start a fanfic archive?
b) Do you need to have a website first to use efiction?
c) What do all the codes and stuff mean?
d) Have I gotten in way over my head?
e) I can't even make icons, how can I make groovy designs and images for the site
f) Have I gotten in way over my head?

Seriously, if someone can give me pointers or point me in the right direction, I would appreciate it. Also thanks again to <lj user="Hollywood_R_Bin>the artist formerly known as Daddylion for the forum info and all the cool icons you've given me. (Just buttering her up so she'll design more stuff for me).

This is bad wrong RPS of the One Tree Hill Kind

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 01:34:55 GMT

With their hit show hanging in the balance, James Lafferty and his co-star Chad Michael Murray spent their summer honeymooning in Antigua. That’s right, honeymooning. With the station changing names, ownership and whatever else, both men realized that where their careers might take them would mean nothing if they didn’t have each other to hold on to. So the day after filming wrapped up, Chad and James flew to Toronto and got hitched.

They had barely made it into the room when but both of them had ended up naked as the day they were born. James had overwhelmed his new bride with a series of hot, nasty kisses, sliding his tongue in and out of Chad's mouth, fucking the warm cavern with his tongue. Chad wanted to feel that hot tongue in other orifices. There was no doubt in his mind that his Baby James was all grown up. It wasn't like they'd never kissed before, but this was different. He'd never been the aggressor. Even when they started dating, Chad had initially made all the moves. James was very shy and didn't crave the limelight the way Chad did nor was he open about his sexuality. Not to say that Chad was forthcoming himself, but he was known for being a bit adventuress.

James moved slowly down Chad's neck, licking and sucking his Adam's apple before lavishing attention to the hollow of his throat, then kissing and nipping at his shoulders, chest and finally wrangling his spouse's shirt off and latching on to his nipples, scraping his nails down his sides. James bent to lick Chad's abs, digging his tongue in the hollow of his belly button. Chad moaned, pushing his hips upwards, trying to get James to pay attention to his cock.

“Can we take this to the bedroom,” Chad panted, not really wanting to spoil the moment.

James yanked Chad's pants down, breaking his belt buckle and sending a button flying in response. Chad felt his body being tugged down to the floor. Resigned to the fact that their first fuck as a married couple would be on the plush carpet of their deluxe suite, Chad kicked off the ruined pants and his shoes in the process and allowed his husband to resume his ministrations. Laying spread eagle on his back somewhere between the door and the sofa, James shoved Chad's thighs apart, hoisted his legs up and dived into the sweet hole he'd been craving on the limo ride to the hotel. Judging by the blonde’s yell, and the way he grabbed a fist full of his hair James knew he was pleasing his lovely bride. Chad gasped at the feeling the slick flicker of james’tongue licking his ass. James, always eager to please, lifted his head, gave the blond a filthy grin, and spread his tv brother's cheeks wider with his hands and dove back in. Chad bucked and almost came on the spot.

James tortured his ass for several more minutes before moving back up and swallowing his cock to the base. Chad wailed loud enough for the concierge to hear, hips jerking, fucking James mouth with his dick. James could tell how close Chad was, and could tell he wanted to come in his mouth but the brunette had other ideas. He pulled off, the teasing bastard, and urged his costar to turn over onto his hands and knees. James made a show of slowly slicking his cock before sliding two fingers inside Chad. The blond was tight as hell. The fingers were purely for tormenting of his spouse and James really made the most of it. He pulled his fingers out, cupped a cheek in each hand, and used his thumbs to force the hole wide open. Chad whimpered, beyond words, face buried in the carpet. His hips pushed back in an obvious demand.

James glanced down at Chad again, making sure he was ready, and after the blond gave the okay, he slowly pushed his cock into him. Chad reared back, practically drawing more of James inside of him, sitting on his lover's cock. James reached around Chad's slim waist to jack the blonde's cock in time to his thrusts, with his costar eagerly riding back into the fucking. James dipped his head a little to suck at that spot just behind Chad’s ear.

Suddenly, both their bodies shook furiously as their orgasms overtook them, bucking desperately against each other as they came to completion, groaning each other’s names as they gasped for air from the force of their climaxes.

“James…” Chad whispered, melting back against his chest as the brunette managed to lie them down on the thick carpet, his arms wrapped loosely around Chad’s lax body.

“Chad…” James whimpered as his head lolled forward, burying his face in of the man's shoulder.

“James…that was…that was…ohmyGod….”

“Yeah…” James agreed weakly. “It was….”

Chad snuggled into the embrace. They lay in silence indulging in each other's company and the afterglow of their love making.

" Chad," James nuzzled at his lover's neck.

"Mmmm," the blond replied sleepily. "Sleeping here. Just had mind blowing sex."

"So it was mind blowing huh?" James teased with a chuckle.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Baby James," Chad teased back.

"Had to save something for the honeymoon," James murmured.

"I see. If I had known, I would have asked you to marry me sooner" Chad tormented with a small grin.

"I think that sex addled your brain has misfired. If I recall correctly, it was I who proposed to you." James pulled out of their embrace punching his co star's arm lightly.

"Dude," Chad protested with a squeak,"you hit like a girl."

They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes, legs entangled together as he pulled James closer reveling in the feeling of his partner in his arms.

"I love you," Chad whispered in his ear.

"I love you too" James whispered back.

They spent the next few days of wedded bliss locked away in their suite overlooking the beach, doing what newlyweds do best. Both being young and insatiable, they spent sun filled days in each others arms making love morning, noon and night. They stopped only for room service to provide them nourishment, bathroom breaks and occasionally freshening up between rounds.

After three days, they decided the maid really did need to get into the room. They showered and headed for the white sandy beach and crystal water. Both men wore speedos that left little to the imagination. James wore baby blue and Chad black. They frolicked in the waters off a private area of the beach and lay out in the sun side by side facing each other, stealing touches and kisses.

For Chad , it felt right. When he’d married Sophia two years ago he knew he wasn’t in love. Sophia knew it as well but the publicity the marriage brought didn’t hurt the ratings. Sophia had suspected the truth about him going into the marriage, though she didn't let on until after it was over. He was glad that in the end, they had managed to remain friends.

He'd almost married again, running from who he was and the man he was falling desperately in love with. When he heard himself on one of the season commentaries, asking James embarrassing questions about tattoos, he was amazed that the boy hadn't punched him right there and then. He was so obviously flirting with him the same way Jared had when they filmed House of Wax. Around Jared he was egotistical and a bit obnoxious but around James he felt like a school girl with a crush.

When they met, James was only seventeen but mature and level headed for his age. Chad was already developing his bad boy reputation at four years his senior. Even before they got past all the hiding and admitted they had feelings for each other, Chad always found James attractive. He looked over at the man sprawled out on the beach towel next to him and was thankful James saw through all his bullshit and sought out the man behind the mask.

Chad's cell phone rang. It was his agent. James phone rang at about the same time.

“Looks like this honeymoon is over,” Chad smiled. “We got picked up for another season.”

James studied his lover's face. What should have been good news seemed to trouble him. He wondered if Chad was suddenly regretting their decision to marry.

Some Minor Squeeing on My Part

Thu, 10 May 2007 00:02:51 GMT

The Here Network has a new series called the DL Chronicles. It features beautiful brothers( as in black men and not the Winchesters or the Scotts) falling in and out of love and trying to keep it on...well...the DL. I love it. Move over Dante's Cove (but don't go to far, I still love ya).

Oh For Krypto's Sake

Thu, 03 May 2007 22:23:38 GMT

I said it once on the TWOP boards after the SV 1963 episode and I'll say it again; Smallville the Musical episode is not that far away folks. With another trip to the past in black and white as tonight's eppy, anything is possible. Well if they do an SV musical it should be Rocky Horror Picture show. Here's my rundown of the cast:

Dr. Frank-n-Furter
Janet Weiss - Lana
Brad Majors - Jason
Riff Raff - Lionel
Magenta - Martha
Columbia - Chloe
Dr. Everett Von Scott (A Rival Scientist)
Rocky Horror - Clark
Eddie - Whitney
The Criminologist - Jonathan

Fic: The More Things Change - Chpater 3

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:32:39 GMT

Fandom: The 4400
Pairing: Shawn/Richard
Rating: M
Warnings: Slash

I think I said I was going to use E. Lynn Harris book titles for the chapters but I changed my mind. Still lovin' Rosie Noodle for the promo and other things that inspired me.

Shawn wanted to do something nice for Richard. He was well aware that Richard was struggling financially and yet he treated him to lunch. Shawn had noticed the worried look on the man’s face as he counted out his cash. He wanted to offer to pay but there was something about Richard that let Shawn know that would be a bad move, and for some reason or another, Shawn didn’t want to do anything to offend Richard.

“So he’s one of your friends from the …um center?”

Shawn’s mom Susan, never referred to the place her son had been held as the detention center. She rarely referred to what happened to him at all. She’d use euphemisms like ‘when you were away,’ or ‘while you were gone,’ as if his departure had been voluntary or some dirty secret. It was no better with his brother either. Danny watched him constantly. He and his girlfriend Nikki had been surfing the web and visiting sites purporting to have proof that the 4400, as they were now called, were a menace to society.

Shawn was sure most of his brother’s actions were spurred on by his lack of control over his girlfriend. The blond was constantly in his face, giving him mixed tapes and offering other things. Shawn knew that look. He’d seen it on the faces of men in the gay bars he’d snuck into. With all that had happened, with his freak-o-meter measuring off the charts, coming out was the last thing he wanted to do now, but there were times he was tempted to tell Nikki the truth just to get her off his back.

“Yes,” Shawn answered, “Richard is my friend.”

“And what time is he coming over?”

“I told him seven o’clock.”

“Fine dear. It’s after six now, why don’t you wash up and set the table.”

When Shawn passed by his brother’s room, he heard him bitching to someone on the telephone.

“it’s bad enough he’s one of them and now we’re having another one over for dinner.”

Shawn wanted to bust through the door and give his brother the same treatment he’d given Brad a few weeks earlier. Between the incident at his welcome home party with the bird and nearly killing a classmate, Shawn was feeling more and more like an outcast. He realized Danny was scared of him. He decided to leave his brother be and not give him any more cause for alarm. He washed his hands and face and then changed his shirt. He stood in the mirror brushing his hair flat, then gelling it before brushing it again.

“This is silly,” he said to himself, peeling off the dress shirt and putting on a clean red tee instead. When the doorbell rang he nearly leaped out of his skin. “I’ll get it,” he yelled, racing down the hall and taking the steps two at a time.

He paused a minute to compose himself, checked himself in the mirror adjacent to the door, took another deep breath and opened.

“Don’t look so happy to see me?” Tom Baldwin said, entering the house and ruffling the hair Shawn had taken so long to get just right.

“Uncle Tommy,” Shawn replied while trying to assess the damage to his do, ’ what are you doing here?”

“Having dinner with my sister and my nephews,” he smiled. “Susan?” Tom called out.

“I’m in here,” Shawn’s mother called from the kitchen.

Shawn was already beginning to have misgivings about dinner. He knew his mom must have called his uncle and told him about Richard. His relationship with his uncle was always a bit strained. Tom thought Shawn was a bad influence on his son Kyle. Even after his return, his uncle was more concerned with what Shawn had done to Kyle than his safe return. Then there was that half-ass attempt to heal Kyle. Shawn wasn’t even sure why he did it. His cousin was getting worst and apparently his uncle was blaming him yet again. The bell rang again and Shawn yanked to door open, afraid it would be another unwelcome guest. Instead, there was Richard standing on the other side, looking as nervous as he felt.

“Richard,” Shawn said, relieved to see the man’s face.

“In the flesh.” It wasn’t until he’d stepped aside and let the man in that he saw he was holding flowers.

“They’re beautiful,” Shawn smiled reaching for them.

“Um…they’re for your mom.” Richard shifted the flowers to his other hand awkwardly.

“Oh, yes…of course.” Shawn felt foolish. “Why would you be bringing me flowers?” Shawn was inwardly pleading with his mouth to stop talking.

“Do you like flowers?” Richard ask.

“Yeah, I do,” Shawn admitted, a slight blush creeping up his face.

“I’ll make a note of that.” Richard flashed one of his disarming smiles.

They stood in the hall awkwardly gazing at each other until Shawn’s mom called from the kitchen. “Is that your friend dear?”

“Um…yes mom. Richard’s here.”

Both Tom and Susan emerged from the kitchen and Shawn felt and urge to shield the man from them. He moved slightly in front of Richard and made the introductions. The first thing he noticed was the look of surprise on his mother’s face. Whether it was because Richard was older or black, Shawn wasn’t sure. He decided to go with a combination of the two.

“Pleased to meet you Mrs. Farrell. These are for you. Mr. Farrell, it’s a pleasure,” Richard said, stretching out his hand to Tom.

“Oh, he’s not my husband,” Susan said and then quickly offered an explanation. “He’s my brother, Tom Baldwin. He works for NTAC. Shawn‘s father and I are divorced.”

Shawn wanted to groan, especially when he moved aside to walk Richard into the living room and saw how tense his friend was.

“Can I offer you a drink,” Tom offered politely.

Shawn couldn’t read Tom’s expression. He knew he was assigned to the 4400 task force. He couldn’t tell if his uncle was trying to assess just what kind of threat Richard might be or what.

“Richard knew great-granddad Bonham,” Shawn volunteered. “They were close friends.“ He was hoping some familial connection would relieve the tension he felt circulating around them. It didn’t. In fact, it seemed to make things worst.

His mom nearly dropped the vase she had retrieved for the flowers, Uncle Tommy’s eyes narrowed and Richard was stammering out an explanation.

“My mother worked for his mother was all. We were just kids then.” Richard took his offered drink and nearly downed it in one gulp. When Shawn joined him on the sofa, Richard slid away, distancing himself from the teen.

“I see,” Tom said and spared his sister a glance.

Shawn had seen those glances before, especially when he and Kyle were in trouble.

“Uncle Tommy,” Danny called from the doorway. It was the first time in a long time that Shawn was glad to see his brother. “How’s Kyle?”

“Not so good,” Tom said, directing his gaze upon Shawn. “There’s some swelling of the tissue around his brain. The doctors are going to try to relieve the pressure.”

“Oh Tom, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Susan said.

“Danny, this is Richard,” Shawn interrupted. Talk of Kyle was not what he needed to hear right now. He felt riddled with guilt over his cousin, wondering if it was his touch that really made him worse.

Danny smirked and nodded towards Richard who had extended his hand only to have it left hanging. Susan jumped in and ordered the boys to finish setting up the table. Shawn didn’t want to leave Richard alone with his mom and Uncle Tommy but he couldn’t think of a good reason to stay. Between the two of them, he was sure his mom was the better interrogator. His only hope was to set the table as quickly as possible and hurry back to Richard.

As they were going, the doorbell rang again. Tom moved to get it. This time it was Nikki. Shawn wondered if the evening could get any worse. He found out over dinner.

Between Nikki’s constant flirting and Danny’s aggravated glares things were bad enough, but then Danny remembered something, the thing the had been niggling at the back of Shawn’s mind since he first met Richard. It was about Shawn Bonham.

“Didn’t greatgran Shawn waste all his money trying to track down some nig…black guy he used to know?” Danny looked pointedly at Richard.

Richard visibly froze, trying to ignore the near slip of the tongue. He turned his head stiffly towards Shawn who’s brow was furrowed, whether in anger or concentration, Richard wasn’t sure.

Shawn had heard the stories. He’d just forgotten them and with his returnee woes, he hadn’t put two and two together. People had thought it was odd for a married man with kids to spend his money on private detectives chasing down a childhood friend.

“He didn’t spend all his …oh my god,” Susan exclaimed, the connection becoming clearer. “are you that Richard?”

Richard nearly choked on the bit of food he’d just placed in his mouth. Visibly shaken, he asked for water which Nikki volunteered to get.

“Are you alright?” He heard Shawn’s voice ask. Before he could respond, Nikki was back with the water.

“May I use your restroom?” Richard asked. His voice was strained.

“It’s down the hall,” Nikki supplied.

Everyone watched as Richard hurried away from the table and disappeared out of their sight.

“They say you look like him,” Danny teased, referring to the resemblance between Shawn and his namesake.

Shawn’s attention was focused on Richard. When he turned back around, his uncle was watching him suspiciously and Shawn wanted nothing more than to barricade himself in that bathroom with his guest.

“Pa Bonham was a good man. He provided well for his family,” Susan insisted.

“I’m going to check on Richard,” Shawn muttered, not caring how strange it was to check on a grown man using the bathroom.

He tried to drown out the bickering around the table especially when he heard Danny ask, “Uncle Tommy, you think Richard is that guy?”

Richard was on the verge of tears for many reasons. First the thought of his Shawn spending a lifetime looking for him broke his heart. Then of course he was mortified that everyone at the table had made the connection. The timid knock on the door startled him.

“Richard,” Shawn whispered through the door, “are you alright?”

The answer to that was a loud and resounding no, but Richard didn’t verbalize that. Instead, he cracked the door open verifying it was really Shawn standing there.

“I ate too much,” Richard lied.

Shawn didn’t press his guest for the truth. “I’ll drive you home.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Richard smiled miserably.

“Good idea or not, I’m driving you home.”

Shawn extended his hand and inexplicably, Richard was drawn to it. He took the younger man’s hand and allowed himself to be led back down the hallway only breaking their connection when they reached the dining room.

“Richard’s not feeling well. I’m going to drive him home.”

“It was a lovely meal,” Richard said apologetically, eyes cast down .

Shawn noticed his uncle starting to say something and ushered the black man quickly out the door. They drove in silence to the motel where Richard was staying. Shawn invited himself in and took a seat on Richard’s bed. The older man paced the floor, wondering if now was a good time to tell Shawn the truth.

“You should go home. Your mom might worry.” Richard didn’t look directly at Shawn but instead watched him through the mirror that faced the bed.

“There’s a connection between us.” Shawn didn’t have to look up to know that Richard was watching him. “I can feel it.”

Richard felt it too, from the moment he’d laid eyes on the blond teen, but he doubted very seriously that whoever or whatever took them, meant for him to fall in love with his lover’s great-grandson . There seemed to be no point to it and yet the black man couldn’t deny that he was caring for Shawn more than he should.

“I knew your great-grandfather. That’s the connection,” Richard said dismissively.

“Some people are saying we were taken for a reason. If that’s true, maybe you and I were meant to…”

“Meant to what Shawn?” Richard didn’t know why he was so angry but he couldn’t control himself.

“Meant to be friends like you and greatgran Shawn. I mean, you must have been friends for him to look for you all those years.”

“How do you know it was me? It could have been some other black guy. You think I was the only black man your great-grandfather knew?”

Shawn looked up at the man skeptically. He knew from dinner, the issue of Shawn Bonham was a sensitive subject. He’d observed Richard’s reaction and his mom and uncle Tommy’s as well. He’d forgotten the hushed conversations that always circled the subject of his namesake.

“No, of course not,” he said apologetically. “You’re right. I should go.”

Shawn lifted himself off the bed and headed for the door. This was not how he envisioned the evening going. He wasn’t sure just what he expected to happen, but upsetting Richard had definitely not been in the plan.

“Shawn, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day and I guess I’m tired.”

“It’s okay. I’ll see you on the 30th at NTAC right?”

Shawn didn’t know how to fix whatever was wrong. His best hope was to give his new friend some space and hope their standing lunch date after medicals was still on.

“Sure,” Richard smiled, looking over at the teen.

It wasn’t a happy smile but Shawn took it as a good sign.

“I’m still thinking about moving out,” Shawn said hopefully.

“Shawn, I don’t…”

“It’s okay. I was just hoping you could go apartment hunting with me.”

Richard agreed. He really just wanted some time alone to think with out Shawn standing there clouding his judgment.

“Goodnight Shawn. Tell your mom I appreciated the dinner.”

“I will,” he smiled.

When Shawn got back home, his Uncle was still there.

“Shawn, we need to talk.”

Me in Avatar Form

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 22:15:21 GMT

Where's the WWOMB?

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 19:59:46 GMT

Seriously, did I miss something. I have been unable to access the Wonderful World of Make Believe. If anyone knows what happened to it. Please tell me.

New fic: Lay Your Hands On Me

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 02:22:49 GMT

Once again, I thank mushyrose for making this promo for this story

Title: Lay Your Hands On Me
Fandom: 4400/Supernatural Crossover
Pairings: Shawn/Kyle Sam/Dean
Rating: M
Even near death, Dean was the most obstinate son of a bitch Sam had ever known. Weak heart and all, he was still trying to get into Sam’s pants and pretend that everything was going to be alright. Sam knew his brother would give him hell for bringing him to a faith healer but Sam was desperate and he was all to familiar with the old adage, desperate times…”

There were two things Sam hadn’t counted on. One, was the small ray of hope in Dean’s eyes as he walked closely behind his brother, trying to keep him from falling without touching him. The second was the size of the crowd that pressed their way through the mud soaked parking lot and into the smallish tent. Sam tried to cling to what little faith he had left. After a few songs, a collection and the testimonies of others who had been healed, Reverend Roy, Sam wasn’t sure if he actually referred to himself as a reverend, took center stage. Something about the sightless man sent shivers down Sam’s spine but even that didn’t deter him from saying something between a wish and a prayer, for his brother to be healed.

On the way back to the car, Dean actually did allow Sam to hold him up.

“It’s alright Sammy. He was probably a fraud anyway.”

Sam bore Dean’s weight as his mind ran in all directions trying to think of something else he could do. He hadn’t once considered that Dean wouldn’t get picked to be healed and even after the service was over, Sam had lingered there with Dean in the cold damp tent hoping for one last opportunity to save his brother. It seemed his only option was to return his brother back to the hospital and wait for him to die. Sam was wishing a whole lot of things at that moment. He was wishing he’d given in to Dean and stopped putting the breaks on every time things heated up between them. He was wishing Dean was truly strong enough to be with him now. He almost laughed at the idea of Dean being willing to die in his arms tonight.

They were back at the motel with Dean resting alone in his bed and Sam watching his every breath for fear it would be the last when something came to him. He slipped out of his own bed and over to the table where their laptop sat. He searched his memory for a name or an event, something he’d seen recently in an article or while searching the web. It escaped him at present, so instead he typed in the word healer and scanned through the results, hoping something would click.

Too many names came up. Sam would have waded through each and everyone but it would be impossible to drag Dean across country trying to find an authentic healer. Missouri was many things, psychic, counselor, mother and friend. The one thing she wasn’t was a faith healer. Sam knew wishing was doing him no good, but of all the things he wished for, he wished that the powers that he and Missouri possessed were able to help Dean.

Frustrated, he closed the laptop and flicked on the television, turning it down low. That’s when the face of young man who really seemed more like a boy flashed on the screen. Sam turned the sound up a little and realized the face staring out at him was that of Shawn Farrell. Sam had met Shawn several years ago when he, his father and Dean were on a hunt in Seattle.

The hunt had gone bad and John had been laid up for a few months, leaving Dean stir crazy and giving Sam the opportunity to make new friends. Sam had been seventeen at the time and Shawn fourteen. He, Shawn and Shawn’s cousin Kyle had spent the summer nights hanging out on the beach and sipping beer. He remembered one particular night right before John had announced it was time to go. Sam hadn’t gone out with Shawn and Kyle but decided later to head down for the beach to see if he could catch up with them. He had to practically kiss Dean’s big toe to get the keys to the car. He drove up, parked next to Shawn’s car and walked a few yards towards the beach.

He supposed Shawn and Kyle hadn’t heard him pull up because when he got closer, he saw the two of them laying on a blanket, making out. He knew he should have been disgusted by the kissing cousins but something about the scene made him think of Dean. He backed away quietly and drove away, not wanting to spoil the two teen’s private moment together.

It was that night that changed the way he saw Dean. That night that opened his eyes to his brother’s flirtations and though he hadn’t given in to Dean, he hadn’t shut the door on the possibility of them being together. Even when he left for Stanford, it had been with the hope that Dean would come with him. Now that he was back, he wasn’t going to give up on the idea of Dean and he being together. Dean couldn’t die.

As he watched the familiar face that hadn’t seemed to age talk about some sort of center, the story he’d been trying to recall came to mind. The 4400, that’s what they were called. Shawn Farrell was one of them and apparently he had the gift of healing.

From Nebraska to Seattle would be a full days drive. With Dean sick, Sam knew he’d have to do all of it. He checked their cash and packed their things. He’d try to get some sleep and hope that his visions would leave him be for a few hours. By dawn’s early light, he intended to be on the road with Dean. He hadn’t figured out how he was going to get in to see Shawn. He decided in the next twenty-four hours, he’d have time enough to come up with a plan. The most important thing was to get to Shawn and the center.

He knew the chances of getting there with Dean still alive and actually getting an audience with Shawn were slimmer than they had been with Reverend Roy, but if the shoe was on the other foot, he knew damn well Dean would try. Feeling hope somewhat renewed, he climbed into bed and turned off the lights. His faith had been restored.

New Fic: The 4400 Slash

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 22:21:09 GMT

Fandom: The 4400
Pairing: Richard/Shawn
Rating: M
Title: The More Things Change
Warnings: Slash, racism, homophobia

The wonderfulmushyrose made the beautiful promo for this May 11, 1951

Richard Tyler lay curled up in a protective ball. The pummeling had stopped and he knew he was lucky to be alive. He wasn’t sure what would happen next. If the handful of men who had accepted him and just minutes ago turned on him should talk, there was no telling what would become of him. It was tough enough getting to where he was as a colored man. He’d expected opposition and wasn’t surprised when it came. He knew the risks and had met each challenge head on. The few friendships he’d made while serving his stint in South Korea were fragile at best; it’s why he kept his personal life just that, personal.

He was well aware there were certain things a negro like himself could not do without suffering the repercussions. The first was daring to reach beyond one’s place in society. Richard had dared to become a fighter pilot. He’d paid his dues and up until a few minutes ago, had even made a few friends along the way. The second was thing was falling for a white woman. Men of his race could be lynched in some areas for just looking. Richard’s sin, he supposed was doubly distasteful for he dared to love a white man. He and Shawn Bonham had grown up together in St. Louis. Richard’s mom had started working for the Bonham family when he was just fifteen. It was Shawn that encouraged Richard to pursue his dreams. They’d spend hours behind the Bonham house reading stories of Word War II fighter pilots. They shared their first kiss in their favorite reading spot as well.

Shawn had seen Richard off the day he headed out for basic training and wrote often since Richard had been shipped overseas. They’d been so careful to keep their letters coded to avoid suspicion but Richard supposed news of the war (which wasn’t being called a war) spooked his sweetheart and a few unwise words had been written on the back of the only photograph of the two of them together. Richard’s mom had taken it, thinking she was taking a picture of two best friends. As Richard clutched the photo now, it was clear by the looks on their faces that there was something much more between them.

Richard tried to straighten up, clutching the crumpled photo in his broken hand. A bright white light shone through the tent where he’d been left after his brutal beating. With his good hand, Richard shielded his eyes and looked up as the light grew ever brighter. His first thought was he’d been beaten more severely than he’d imagined and he was about to enter the pearly gates. Then there was nothing but blinding whiteness.

@@@@@

April 22, 2001

Shawn Farrell and his cousin Kyle sat on the beach by the campfire they’d made, sipping beers and talking.

“I’m going to tell them,” Shawn suddenly announced.

“Dude, you can’t be serious,” Kyle replied, suddenly sounding a lot more sober than he did just minutes ago.

“I have to. I can’t go on pretending.”

Kyle bit his lip contemplating his cousins announcement. When he’d come out to him, Kyle hadn’t been that surprised nor was he grossed out by it. It was just that, he and Shawn spent a lot of time together and he feared that once Shawn told his mom he was gay, she’d call her brother which just happened to be Kyle’s father. Kyle knew his dad well enough to know he’d want to put a stop to his son hanging out with his queer cousin.

“You know your mom is going to freak and what about Danny?”

“Why don’t you say what’s really on your mind,” Shawn answered angrily. “You’re just afraid that if people find out I’m gay, they’ll think you are too.”

“That’s so not true,” Kyle lied. “I just know my dad won’t let us hang out anymore. Dude, you’re like my best friend.”

“Dude, I’m like your only friend.” Shawn accepted Kyle’s excuse even though he didn’t believe it wholeheartedly. He was about to offer his cousin another beer just to change the subject, when a blinding white light shone down from the sky.

Before he could say anything, Kyle had gotten up, beer bottle firmly in hand and stepped under the eerie white glow. He began convulsing and screaming for help. The bottle fell to the ground and Shawn was up in an instant, tugging at his cousin’s hand, trying not to step fully into the stream of light. Kyle seemed pinned to the spot and in an effort to free him, Shawn pushed hard, knocking his cousin down and away. Now he stood paralyzed beneath the spotlight. It grew brighter and brighter. He could only turn his head slightly. The last thing he saw was his cousin, lying still on the ground.

@@@@@

July 11, 2004

There were so many people surrounding him. They were all milling around looking just as confused as he was. Richard thought briefly that if this was heaven, it was unorganized. There were several clues that caused him to readjust his assessment of his situation. The first was the scantily way some of the women near him were dressed. His grandma would call them wanton women and he was sure no woman who’d dress so scandalously would enter the streets of gold. And that was the other thing. They seemed to be standing on sand and sparse bits of grass. The clincher was his own attire. He was still wearing his uniform. Richard searched his mind as to an explanation for that. He knew his mamma well enough to know she’d never bury him in nothing less than his Sunday best.

Richard briefly considered the possibility that he was in hell. Maybe, he supposed, hell was living out your eternity in whatever state you died in. Besides, his own father, a self-proclaimed preacher, had preached about the consequences of what he referred to as ‘unnatural affections’ so this could very well be his punishment for daring to love outside of conventional choices.

It took some time but Richard was finally forced on one of the buses along with what he estimated to be the hundreds of other people he’d been surrounded by. They were processed like cattle and Richard wondered if this is what it felt like to his great great grandparents, when they were stolen from their homeland with no clue as to what was going on. The only difference here was there seemed to be people from all walks of life and of varying ethnicities. Richard shuffled along with the other men, into a brightly lit tannish room where they were ordered to strip and line up to be examined. No one was saying anything to them and no explanation was being offered as to why they were there.

One older man, who Richard learned was a man by the name of Orson Bailey, was the only one speaking up. Richard pegged him for an attorney. He kept yammering on and on about his rights. Richard was pretty sure whatever was going on, it was best as a man of color to keep his mouth shut. What ever rights Mr. Bailey thought he had,, they probably didn’t extend to him.

Shawn didn’t know what to make of his current situation. Fleeting memories of he and Kyle on the beach ran through his head. He was standing somewhere else now, surrounded by mountains and thousands of people. Orders were shouted and he was transported, still dazed and confused with the others to what seemed like a government facility. He recalled having an uncle who worked for the government. His name escaped him at the moment. He barely knew his own name but managed to state it when asked over and over again by various people at this place.

It was cold in the room where they were ordered to strip. Shawn instinctively covered himself with his hands as each man was escorted into a room to be processed. He had a vague recollection of seeing a similar scene played out in a movie about prison. He wondered if this was where he was. He shivered at the thought. He vaguely recalled not exactly being a model teen but he was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything to warrant an arrest and a prison term.

Shawn stared at the back of the dark skinned man in front of him. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. He felt so alone despite the room full of men standing there with him. He dredged up some memories from a conversation with a boy his age. He could almost recall a campfire and the boy laughing, telling him he’d be someone’s bitch if he ever went to jail. Shawn winced audibly. He wondered why certain memories were washing in and out of his head and others, including why he was here were not.

“It’ll be alright,” the black man in front of him said soothingly, before quickly facing forward and stepping into the next room.

It was the most humiliating experience either of them had. They were given bars of soap and hosed down before being herded into the next room for even more humiliation including an invasive body cavity search and medical exam. Shawn felt like he needed to shower all over again. When they were ushered out of the medical area and ugly tan clothing were shoved into their hands, Shawn felt a solitary tear finally slip down his face. He was extremely tired and they were told they needed to be debriefed. This sounded more serious to Shawn than he had ever imagined.

He ended up in a huge room full of lockers and cots. The older black man’s cot was next to the one assigned to him. Shawn didn’t know why, but he felt a strange connection to the man. He considered the possibility that it was the small measure of kindness the man had bestowed upon him. He watched the black man dress and followed suit, sitting on the foot of the cot just as the older man did after.

Richard was even more confused than ever. Outside of his barracks, he never recalled bathing, or even sleeping in a room with other white men. There was only one white person he’d gotten close to and that was his childhood sweetheart, Shawn Bonham. Richard looked briefly over at the forlorn young lad sitting on the cot next to his. There was something familiar about the face. Richard would swear that this young white boy was his Shawn or at least a relative. The similarities in the teen’s face were uncanny. Richard chided himself, believing it was wishful thinking.

“I wish there were windows in this place,” Shawn whispered, looking around the room. “It’d be nice to see the stars.”

“You will son, real soon.”

@@@@@

They’d gotten very little sleep between debriefing, interviews with counselors and the like. They were awakened early for breakfast and then herded again into a large recreation room where they were to sit while interviews were continued. Shawn didn’t know his name but when he saw the black man sitting in the large rec room, he immediately migrated over to him. The man was reading a magazine and seemed shocked to know that the Secreatary of State and the National security advisor were in his words “colored.”

“They’re black,” Shawn corrected. Richard gave him one of his warm smiles that made the lines by his eyes crinkle.

Shawn was antsy. He really wanted to get out of wherever they were and get home to his mom and brother. He stood and paced the floor.

“You should try to relax son. You won’t get out of here any faster by wearing a grove in the floor.”

“You some kind of jailhouse philosopher?” Shawn laughed.

“Barracks philosopher actually. I was a combat pilot in Korea,” The man chuckled. “I’m Richard, Richard Tyler.”

“Shawn, Shawn Farrell.”

“I had a friend named Shawn, Shawn Bonham,” Richard said, recalling his lover fondly.

“Shawn Bonham? He’s my great-grandfather on my mother’s side. You knew my great-grandfather?”

Richard looked away, slightly embarrassed. A black man might be Secretary of State, but he was still pretty sure the man he saw in the magazine didn’t have a white boyfriend.

“We grew up together in St. Louis,” Richard answered, trying to keep his voice devoid of any emotion. “How is he?”

Shawn looked away. He died when I was young. I never really knew him but my mom and uncle say I look just like him.

Richard smiled. “They’re right.”

Something about the way Richard looked at him when he said those words made Shawn’s face go hot. He cast his eyes downward trying to think of something to say. Before he could, he heard his name being paged overhead.

“That’s me,” he said shyly, thankful for the opportunity to get away and regroup his emotions.

His relief to see his uncle Tommy was short lived when the man started hurling accusations at him; accusing him of drugging his son and leaving him for dead. By the time Shawn made it back to the rec room, Richard was gone. He sat alone and frustrated, wanting to lash out at someone, anyone. A little girl with long blond hair walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be your new family,” she said. Then just as quickly as she came, she turned and walked away.

Shawn didn’t get to see Richard until later that night at dinner. Shawn told the older man what happened and Richard as usual spouted words of wisdom that made him feel better instantly. After several weeks, they learned they were all being released. Shawn had mixed feelings about the news. He wanted to go home to his brother and mother, but he’d grown so attached to Richard that he hated to leave him.

“I’ll keep in touch,” Richard promised.

“What are you going to do when you get out?”

“Go back to the old neighborhood. What about you? “

“Try to reconnect with my family. Go visit my cousin in the hospital. Get my life back.”

“Good luck with that,” Richard laughed. “Look, if you ever need anything…”

“Same here.” Shawn jotted down his home number and address. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“You’ve been a good friend,” Richard said, pulling the teen into a firm hug. He was afraid he might not ever be able to let go. He kissed him lightly on the cheek and hoped the kid would accept it as a friendship kiss.

Shawn pulled away, blushing. “See ya around,” he said with a wave good bye.

“Yeah, see you around.” Richard watched the teen disappear into the throngs of friends and family members waiting.

He looked back and saw the strange little blonde haired girl named Maia, sitting alone. If he remembered correctly, she was abducted in 1946. Her parents were most likely dead by now. He didn’t know why, but Richard decided that once he got settled, he’d come back and check on the child.

With the money given them to find a place to stay, Richard headed out, looking for a cheap motel. He held the piece of paper Shawn had given him in his hand. He’d promised to keep in touch but he knew it would probably be for the best if he didn’t. He was technically and eight something year old man. Shawn was a child. No matter how strong a coincidence that the love he’d lost seemed to be returned to him, Richard convinced himself it was just that, a coincidence. Still, he carefully folded the paper and stuffed it deep in his pocket for safety all the while talking himself out of ever contacting his old flames double.

He met Shawn again during one of their monthly check-ins. The teen had a scowl on his face as he trudged out the front door of the NTAC medical facility. Richard was sure his own face matched Shawn’s. The checkups were degrading enough, but for Richard, an man who was technically in his eighties to answer questions about his parents and other relatives who were dead or didn’t even know him was insufferable. The psychiatrist assigned to them thought Richard was hostile. He was. He had no job, no permanent place to live and no one left to help him through it all.

At least, he thought, Shawn has family. It was one of the reasons Richard hadn’t called. He didn’t want to intrude on Shawn’s reconnecting with his mother and brother. Richard felt just as out of place now as he did fifty years ago. The only person who understood him then was Shawn Bonham. It was silly to think that this present day Shawn could be a substitute for what he’d lost.

Richard purposed to keep walking and not even entertain the idea of getting reacquainted with the teen. That idea was thwarted when Shawn made eye contact with him. The scowl Richard had observed was quickly replaced with a bright smile and Richard found himself moving towards his fellow returnee in spite of himself.

“Richard,” Shawn almost sang and closed the distance between them by engulfing the older black man in a hearty embrace.

Richard was shocked when the kiss he’d given the teen when they parted was returned. Soft lips pressed against his cheek before the warmth of Shawn’s body was pulled away.

“Sorry.” Shawn hung his head down and stared at his feet briefly before looking up coyly. “Just glad to see a friendly face.”

Richard was both pleased by the boy’s response and saddened by his explanation. He would have loved for the kiss to be more than old friends reuniting.

“It’s okay,” Richard smiled. “You were here for medical?”

Shawn nodded and the smile slowly disappeared. “And my psych evaluation,” he frowned.

“I feel the same way,” Richard nodded, indicating the expression on Shawn’s face.

“God, I mean, what’s the point of all the questions ,” Shawn blurted out in frustration.

“They’re just doing their job,” Richard offered half-heartedly.

“I mean, we haven’t gone crazy, we haven’t sprouted horns. Why can’t they just leave us alone?”

Richard’s eyes roamed over to the building they’d just left and back to Shawn. He felt uncomfortable complaining out in the open. He took Shawn by the elbow.

“You had lunch yet?”

Shawn’s countenance seemed to brighten again. “No, and I’m starving,” he said dramatically.

“Me too. There’s a diner a few blocks away. The food isn’t bad and the prices are reasonable.”

“Lead the way,” Shawn said cheerfully.

As they walked the three or so blocks to the place, they stumbled across two young people who Richard estimated to be about Shawn’s age, kissing in full view of everyone. Richard shook his head in amazement.

“What?” Shawn teased, “young people didn’t make out in the fifties?”

“In parked cars at some lover’s lane. Not in the middle of the street.”

“Lover’s lane huh. You’ll have to show me one sometime.” Shawn blushed realizing what he’d said. Richard changed the subject.

“Here we are.” He opened the door and let Shawn in first. He felt awkward standing there with Shawn.

“Table for two?” The waitress asked.

Richard hesitated but Shawn nodded and followed the woman as she grabbed two menus and headed down an aisle.

“You comin’,” Shawn laughed, looking back at the man.

Richard stumbled forward. He was almost waiting to be seated in a different section but the woman just placed the menus in front of them and asked if they wanted coffee.

“Yes please,” Richard answered politely. Shawn ordered the same.

The monthly check Richard and other returnees like him received was barely enough to pay for his room and eat. He knew if he paid for Shawn’s meal, he’d be short until another couple of weeks but he wanted to treat Shawn to lunch. It seemed important that he do that.

“So, how are things with you?” Richard asked.

“Let’s see, school sucks, everyone thinks I’m a freak, my brother hates that I’m back and his girlfriend keeps hitting on me. How about you? I thought you were heading back to St. Louis?”

“Nothing there for me. Sorry about school and your brother.” He wanted to say sorry about the brother’s girlfriend too but he kept that part to himself.

“It’s alright. I’m thinking of going out on my own. I mean the money they give us isn’t much but I’m thinking of dropping out, getting my GED and then a job. Are there any jobs where you’re working?”

Shawn’s question was innocent and full of hope. Richard almost lied but the face across from him was one he could never lie to. He shook his head.

“I’m not working yet. That’s what’s so frustrating. I can’t find a job. I can’t explain the fifty year gap in my resume. I don’t even no how old I’m supposed to say I am.”

Shawn sat back in the booth they were seated in and studied Richard’s face. “You don’t look a day over thirty. I’d go with that.”

The warm smile he gave Richard, melted the worry lines away from the older man’s forehead. When the waitress returned, Richard ordered two cheeseburger deluxe, sodas and pie and ice cream. Being broke for a few weeks was worth the hour or so talking with Shawn.

By the time lunch was over, Richard was seriously thinking of sharing an apartment with his ex-lover’s grandson. Shawn had given a persuasive argument why they should. Sharing expenses being the least of them. Richard knew he was on dangerous ground with Shawn. He worried what Shawn’s mom or uncle would think about a teenage white boy moving in with a thirty something black man. The only thing they had in common was being returnees. Plus, Richard worried that somehow Shawn would find out about his relationship with his grandfather. He already worried that maybe Shawn’s mom or his uncle had heard stories. Richard wasn’t sure what happened after he disappeared and how much of the real story of what happened in that barracks got out. He looked across the table at Shawn and promised to give his proposition some thought.

Since he hadn’t called Shawn, the teen insisted that Richard give him the motel he was staying at and the room number. It would have been easy for Richard to lie or simply give the information and move out the next day, but deep down, Richard Tyler wanted to do neither. He scribbled the information down on one of the diner napkins and slid it across the table to Shawn. With a smile, he fished out his wallet, plunked down a twenty and stood.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

Shawn smiled up at him and then stood. He wasn’t anxious to go home just yet. He wasn’t anxious to leave Richard either.

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 18:41:39 GMT

Which Supernatural character are you?

You're Sarah! You're sweet and kind and you always know what to say to put people at ease. But you are also tough when you have to be. You're creative and open-minded, and people love that about you.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code